


The Fear of Falling Apart

by evynessence



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: 3b, Angst, F/F, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:33:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24359635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evynessence/pseuds/evynessence
Summary: “I don’t miss Emma,” Regina wants to point out, but the name falters on her lips and hot tears roll down her cheeks instead.“Yes you do, and that’s okay. So do I.”Rewrite of the scene where Regina removes her heart and tries to bury it in the Enchanted Forest.
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills & Snow White | Mary Margaret Blanchard, Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan
Comments: 2
Kudos: 60





	The Fear of Falling Apart

**Author's Note:**

> I have so many WIPs for SQ that I want to get out, and I promised myself I would publish something today. Enjoy!

Snow stops her with a stern hand on her shoulder. Regina tries to shake it off, but the other woman is nothing if not stubbornly relentless. 

“What are you doing Regina?”

Even with the disorientation of being back in the Enchanted Forest, Regina doesn’t think Snow’s actually looking for an answer. It’s an obvious question if she’s ever heard one. Her heart is in her hands. A makeshift hole in the dirt before her. Regina lets out a frustrated noise and pulls her shoulder free from the touch. Snow lets her, her fingers slipping loose at the last second, but hovering against her back. 

“It hurts.” The words fall from her lips like a plea. It’s pathetic and even worse so that she’s slipping into a downward spiral in front of Snow White of all people, but the pressure in her chest is threatening to burst forth. Even without her heart, the pain has only dulled a fraction. “It hurts and I can’t...I  _ won’t _ .” 

Snow is crouched next to her in an instant, pulling her into an embrace. Regina lets herself slump against the chest of the very woman she’d been hell-bent on killing not too long ago. Who has she become? Two weeks camping with the Charmings in Neverland and now she’s  _ soft _ . Her lips pull back into a sneer, but it falls flat and comes out as a sob instead. 

“I know it hurts,” Snow coos, pulling a dark lock of Regina’s hair away from where it hangs in her face. “I know you miss them, but they wouldn’t want this.” 

“It doesn’t hurt as much without  _ that  _ in my chest,” Regina eyes the heart, red once again claiming a strong glow across the surface. The black is still there, twisting itself into dark veins and blotches, but it’s not as hard to look at as it once had been. 

“They won’t remember me, why does it matter?... He,  _ he _ won’t remember me.” She corrects, but it’s too late. Snow is giving her a knowing look and there’s something in the back of Regina’s mind telling her this is exactly how it went last time. With Daniel. Regina  knows  that look on Snow’s face.  _ Loathes it _ .

But Emma isn’t Daniel. And Snow isn’t ten anymore. “I don’t  _ miss _ Emma,” Regina wants to point out, but the name falters on her lips and hot tears roll down her cheeks instead. 

“Yes you do, and that’s okay. So do I.” Snow combs Regina’s hair with her fingers. “But you can’t reject the pain, Regina.” She guides Regina’s hands back to her chest and  _ pushes _ .

The pain sharpens in her chest. Closes off her lungs. Pulls at the corners of her consciousness with stinging fingers.

And they’re crying together, huddled against one another on the forest floor. Regina thinks of  _ “moms”  _ and  _ “you’re not a villain, you’re my mom,”  _ of _ almosts _ and  _ possibilities,  _ of  _ “she’s not dying”  _ and  _ “what can I do to help.” _ They stung even without her heart in her chest, but the pain has her crying out. The tears spill freely down her face. 

Emma was so close. At the town line. After weeks fighting to get Henry back from Pan and then the body swap and Gold’s sacrifice. Emma was in her hands and all Regina had to do was pull her in, tell her about the swarm of emotions threatening to topple out. Instead, Regina told her about the happy ending she could have with Henry. Gave Emma the chance at a life Regina had always wanted, not just with Henry but with all three of them. 

And Regina sobs and sobs- until the forest fades around her and she’s seeing Emma in her dehydrated and delusional dreams -at what could have been. And at what never will be. 


End file.
